Showing posts with label Funny Stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Stories. Show all posts

Monday, January 24, 2011

Fairy Tale About A Poor Rat





Story: In the farthest room, where you never set foot cleaning ladies, for the old coffee table from IKEA, which was an ancient PC with a Pentium ODYN, without access to the Internet, there lived was not simply there, a poor office rats. Dear reader, go to the text, our hero, we will simply call the Rat.
Rat was gray and ugly, the salary he was little, but on thin physique and a hunchback, he was always afraid of colleagues and lowered his eyes to the floor during meetings with them. In his study there was no fan and therefore he did not drink tea a day for 8 times and therefore, co-workers loaded him with additional work.
The rats did not smoke, and as a result he was not aware of all the gossip and never participated in corporate squabbles and intrigues. He worked hard and often carried out assignments for his boss, and that all appropriated and lazy. Rats always shouting and humiliated by his colleagues, realizing that he is defenseless and never give problems. Rat hated my job and every morning he forced himself again and again to go there. When the workday ended, he gladly ran to his little hole and hid it in a melancholy solitude. So the years went on, rats were getting old and nothing in his life changed. As usual he was not getting any of stationery, for the offense he was deprived of the minimum quarterly bonuses, and secretaries at the reception by looking through him as through a hole in a Swiss cheese.
One day, on the eve of New Year, a little gray rats had bought a lottery ticket. Before he had a strange dream, which came to him a strange fairy, and said:
- Rat, you have to go to a stall around the corner and buy a lottery ticket with the number 333, and you'll get a miracle ...
He did so. And here this evening among all employees held a draw ticket. Big Boss of the company in shiny clothing appeared on stage with a list and began to read out the numbers of winners of the quiz.
ID 485, won the set for the care of fur - there was a shriek from the crowd, secretary boss rushed for a gift.
ID 867 - The boss looked at the crowd - won 2 kg of the elite cheeses. Nosy office manager, a gray mouse with greedy eyes, seized with joy vyygrosh.
Important rats from the stage announced a few rooms with prizes, the staff went on stage and gratefully accept gifts from the giver.
Little Rat stood at the end of the crowd and convulsively clutched her ticket in the sticky hands. He had hoped to win, he believed in a happy dream. And the last number, super travel on the sea!
Boss slowly removes the envelope, the hall fell silent in anticipation, silence fell over all, intrigue and a sense of mystery hovered over the gray noses. Slowly, slowly, he breaks one envelope, unfolds it and reads ...
- The winner of our quiz is number 33 ..., then he was stuttering, raising glasses and take a closer look intently at the paper, and so the winner number 334.
Hall groaned in anticipation and then the stage bouncing and uhaya crawled head of our rat. He shook hands with fawning boss and received from him a pass to the resort and the Little Rat was left alone with his ticket in a gray corner of the dark room.
The crowd began to rejoice and celebrate the New Year, and nobody cared, until a small gray figures running ghostly shadow dancing among the gray-black crowd.
The rats were returned to his miserable little hole, and fell asleep in the bed under the old tattered blanket little gray ...
Snow fell on the road the huge flakes, who was having fun and making plans for the future, someone spent time in solitude and grief, the New Year comes, and a fresh cycle of life began to record the time ...
The moral of this tale, dear reader, that miracles do not happen, and the rich are getting richer, crafty and enterprising always Uryvaev his piece and quiet and modest miserable, and so remain and sleep in their dark burrows.
P.S. My advice to you lastly, do not believe a strange thing that you fly at night under the guise of fairies and advised to buy something ...
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Bill, Jim, and Scott STAIRS:Funny Story

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were
sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the
elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb
75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and
Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25
flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can
tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill
stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor
Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will
tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in
the car!"
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A Women's Works:Funny Story

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked,
"What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered,
"You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes" was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!!!"
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Friday, December 31, 2010

Old Love On A Date::Funny Story

Old Love On A Date::Funny Story

Old Love On A Date::Funny Story
An old couple who had not been out on a date in a very long time was spending Saturday evening at home as usual.

As they sat watching TV, the man looked toward where his wife was sitting and asked in an affectionate tone, "Do you want to go out, little lady?"

Pleasantly surprised the lady replied without hesitation, "Oh, my, of course I want to, let's go!"

They had a great night out, and toward the end of the evening the lady turned to her husband and said, "I had a great time, but be honest. What happened to make you ask me on date after so many years?"

Well dear I have to tell you, I didn't ask you on a date at all. I was asking our dog Muffin, who was sitting next to your chair, if she wanted to go for a walk.

Did You Like Old Love On A Date::Funny Story?

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You Can Hurry Love::Funny Story

You Can Hurry Love::Funny Story

A young man and his pretty bride rush in to see their minister at the church.

"We want to get married, Reverend. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you please do a quick ceremony?"

The minister is amused. He marries the two love birds, takes his money but then hesitates and asks, "I know you two are in love, but I would be remiss not to caution you that it is not wise to marry in a hurry. Why are you two in such a rush anyway?"

Rushing his new wife out before him the young man runs into the street shouting over his shoulder "Because we are parked in a 'no standing' zone!"

Did You Like You Can Hurry Love::Funny Story

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